


And Now You're in My Way

by hauntedlittledoll



Category: Batman (Comics)
Genre: Gen, Gotham Sirens
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-22
Updated: 2013-09-22
Packaged: 2017-12-27 07:32:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/976132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hauntedlittledoll/pseuds/hauntedlittledoll
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Selina watches over a trio of vigilante for her fellow siren and occasional housemate.  Negotiations ensue.</p>
            </blockquote>





	And Now You're in My Way

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kiragecko](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kiragecko/gifts).



> Title taken from "Call Me Maybe" by Carly Rae Jepson, which is all my fourteen year old niece's fault because I can't get the song out of my head.
> 
> Written for Kiragecko's Prompt: "What Harley would REALLY use a bathtub for."

"Rub a dub dub, three birds in a tub," Harley sang out as she surveyed her work with satisfaction.  "That’ll teach them to go spying on hard-working, mostly parole-minding civilians."

Selina sighed.  She was certain that if asked, Harley would have a reason for why the three unconscious heroes had to be chained in the lovely old-fashioned bathtub as opposed to being deposited for the Commissioner to recover or returned to the senior Batman with a stiff note.  Selina was equally certain that this reason would be information the Catwoman was better off not knowing.

Bruce would be here any second, and really … well, she liked this apartment, the part-time Siren considered mournfully.

Harley bounced out of the bathroom, citing a need for props, and Selina took a seat on the sloped edge of the tub to watch over their impromptu houseguests, taking advantage of their unconscious state to prod Damian’s rounded cheek.

The littlest Robin would produce the most property damage, she decided regretfully.  He might be temporarily wreathed in the innocence of sleep, but the boy would wake up and to Damian, waking curled up next to Tim would be adding insult to injury.

Selina didn’t intervene.  She just withdrew her cellular and snapped a few pictures for posterity … and Alfred.

"If you send those to Jay, we’ll be having words, Selina," the oldest captive murmured.  He didn’t open his eyes under the lenses of the cowl or make a move to free himself from his bonds, but let the façade settle around them once more.

Selina leaned forward to study Dick Grayson’s face and readjust the edges of the mask.  “What a positively charming idea,” she purred into the hero’s ear, raking her perfectly manicured fingernails through the man’s enviable tresses.  “Who else would appreciate these once-in-a-lifetime shots?  Batgirl, maybe?  Oracle?”  She leaned in closer to whisper: “Bruce?”

"Here and I figured Harley-Quinn was the one with a grudge," Dick snorted softly.  "I thought you and I were on good terms lately?"

"There’s _good_ , Mr. Grayson, and there is _a trio of vigilante chained to my bathtub_ ,” Selina returned, sliding back with the lockpick exchange accomplished.  “A lady must have standards.”

"Three fools in a tub," Dick nodded ruefully.  "Which one am I?"

"Considering present company, I’d say the candlestick maker," Selina drawled, daring to stroke Robin’s hair.  He just looked so sweet and innocent while unconscious.

"Fair," he agreed as the lock gave way.  Its collision with the porcelain of the tub was muted by several layers of bullet-proof cloth as Batman 2.0 untangled himself from the capes, his younger brothers, and the antique plumbing.  "So, if I get the three of us out of here before Harley comes back with period costume or Bruce breaks down your door, there’s no need for blackmail photos, am I right?" he suggested cheekily.

Selina  raised one perfectly arched eyebrow, and made as if to shake the littlest vigilante awake only to find her wrist firmly clasped in the Bat’s black gauntlet.

"I’ll—uh—just carry Robin out.  Faster.  Quieter."  A self-effacing quirk to the corner of his mouth, and the jolly Batman persona was back again.  "Less damage."

"Then I believe a deal can be struck," Selina agreed, surrendering the device and allowing Dick to help her to her feet.  He swooped down to cradle his unconscious bird and wake Red Robin instead.  A finger to the lips, and Tim understood in an instant, silently freeing himself and withdrawing in embarrassment.

Selina let them out, waving off their retreating forms and even smiling indulgently as Dick had the effrontery to salute her with the appropriated cell phone.

Let the Bats keep the phone.  The photos had already been uploaded to the internet and likely a viral sensation by now.

_Turn them out, knaves all three._


End file.
